Thursday, 28 February 2019


Book 2, letter 16
Part 1 of 3
To Tacitus: A ghost Story: from Teutoburg to Vietnam

                                           11th C transcript of Tacitus' Annals

*

Dear Tacitus,

When I started reading your book, The Annals, I didn't know much about you, or the era you write about. I've spent some months reading about the Roman Republic, learning the stories of senators and consuls and studying the downfall of the quasi-democratic system that saw Julius Caesar and Cicero assassinated. 

But you, Tacitus, aren't from that era, you lived about a hundred years after Julius Caesar, and you wrote about the early Emperors, Octavius (who changed his name to Augustus) and Tiberius and a lot more, but I've only read books one and two of your Annals so I don't know the rest of the story yet, but I thought I would write to you about my impressions so far.

But first, you knew Emperor Nero didn't you? His name has echoed through the centuries to be a synonym for madness and cruelty. “Nero fiddles while Rome burns” is a common phrase meant to represent the worst kinds of managerial incompetence. Even those from our era who have never heard of you, have heard of Nero. But twenty years or so after Nero came Domitian, and though his name is less recognised, you remember his tyranny thus:

Even Nero turned his eyes away, and did not gaze upon the atrocities which he ordered; with Domitian it was the chief part of our miseries to see and to be seen, to know that our sighs were being recorded.”

When Domitian was assassinated in 96CE, you expressed the relief felt by everyone, but add that many who still lived were no more than “survivors of themselves”. You say further that:

We witnessed the extreme of servitude when the informer robbed us of the interchange of speech and hearing. We should have lost memory as well as voice, had it been as easy to forget as to keep silence.”

I've spent a bit of time criticising Cicero for loving the Republic, ruled though it was by tyrants and butchers, but you lived through the nightmare that Cicero worked so hard, and failed to avert, and in reading your accounts of the despotism of later Emperors, the love that Cicero held for the old forms of oligarchy suddenly seem so much more defensible.

But I'm getting ahead of myself, I wanted to write to you today about the years 9CE to 19CE

It's a ghost story, and its petty famous in certain circles.

Imagine tens of thousands of Roman centurions, wandering in the haunted forests of Germany, fighting through the trees and rivers and ravines and all the sorts of places that are very good for guerilla soldiers, and not so good for Centurions. They were fighting an enemy who had defeated the Romans many times before, and the dark forest soil became littered with Roman dead.

But I don't want to start there, lets back up to the story of Arminius.


                                               Arminius

From what I understand of his story, it goes like this. Arminius was a German, of the Cherusci tribe. When he was a boy, the Romans came to his village and demanded hostages as way to bind a treaty, and to keep the tribes in servitude to Rome. This taking of hostages was a common diplomatic practice, and has been for centuries with people all over the globe. So, Arminius was taken from his family and sent to Rome to be raised, where he was educated, trained and eventually, through his displays of both martial prowess and commanding wisdom, was put into a position of some authority in the Roman army. As a fully grown man, he was then sent back to Germany to help subdue the tribes there who were always rebelling and causing trouble. Arminius made it back to his home village, he even met his father who had given him up to the Romans, and for a time, it seemed that Arminius would be the perfect deal maker between the Roman invaders, and the German tribes.

Arminius though, betrayed the Romans in spectacular fashion, and in 9CE he covertly organised a massive German rebellion, eventually destroying utterly, three Roman legions (about 15,000 men) commanded by a man named Varus. 

Luring them into the dark and swampy Teutoburg forest, Arminius managed to sever the Roman supply lines, ambush the Centurions with savage efficiency, and eventually forced a battle ending in horrific slaughter and fire. Very few Romans escaped.  The commander, Varus, committed suicide.

Their bones were left to soak in the mud.

             Otto Albert Koch - The Battle of Teutoburg Forest (1909)

You wrote about those bones, Tacitus, and it's those bones that I wanted to talk about, but first I have talk about the Roman Commander who was sent to avenge the dead.

Germanicus Julius Caesar was the commander sent by Emperor Tiberius to avenge the death of Varus. He was eventually successful (after a fashion) in his wars to subdue the Germans, and though he died quite young, as a result of a mysterious black magic curse, (or so the rumors go), his achievements are still recorded with great pride by you, Tacitus. During his campaign against Arminius, Germanicus found in the dark Teutoburg Forest, the remains of those Roman legions of Varus, and the two thousand years from then till now do not reduce the grim sense of haunted terror I find in your descriptions of that day.

                                 Germanicus Julius Caesar

From the Church & Brodribb translation of The Annals, published in 1952.
Book One, section 61 & 62

In the centre of the field were the whitening bones of men, as they had fled, or stood their ground, strewn everywhere or piled in heaps. Near, lay fragments of weapons and limbs of horses, and also human heads, prominently nailed to trees. In the adjacent groves were the barbarous altars on which they had immolated tribunes and first rank centurions. Some survivors of the disaster who had escaped from the battle or from captivity, described how this was the spot where the officers fell, how yonder the eagles were captured, where Varus was pierced by his first wound, where too by the stroke of his own ill-starred hand he found for himself death. They pointed out too the raised ground from which Arminius had harangued his army, the number of gibbets for the captives, the pits for the living, and how in his exaltation he insulted the standards and eagles.

And so the Roman army now on the spot, six years after the disaster, in grief and anger, began to bury the bones of the three legions, not a soldier knowing whether he was interring the relics of a relative or a stranger, but looking on all as kinsfolk and of their own blood, while their wrath rose higher than ever against the foe. In raising the barrow, Caesar (Germanicus) laid the first sod, rendering thus a most welcome honour to the dead, and sharing also in the sorrow of those present.”

                        The Suicide of Varus - Martin Disteli

*

So I've gotten to the bones of the story, Tacitus, but from here I'm going to take you among the wandering ghosts of the Vietnam War. 

We humans are a peculiar species...

Thursday, 21 February 2019


Book 2, letter 15
Part 2 of 2

To Marcus Aurelius on meditation, compassion and laying down in the long grass...




*

Dear Marcus,

I apologise for interrupting my letter to you, the funeral of my friend seemed too important to pass over. I have had some time to think, and to read more of your book.

Sometimes, just sometimes, my questions disappear, and in their place is a certain empty feeling, where my mind ceases spinning and...well... I will quote from you again, Marcus, from Book Two of your Meditations, this time from the 1862 George Long translation.

Of human life the time is a point, and the substance is in flux, and the perception is dull, and the composition of the whole body subject to putrefaction, and the soul a whirl, and fortune hard to divine, and fame a thing devoid of judgement. And, to say all in a word, everything which belongs to the body is a stream, and that which belongs to the soul is a dream and vapour, and life is warfare and a stranger's sojourn, and after fame is oblivion. What then is that which is able to conduct a man? One thing and one only, philosophy.

But this consists in keeping the daemon (spirit, essence, power) within a man free from violence and unharmed, superior to pains and pleasures, doing nothing without a purpose, nor yet falsely and with hypocrisy, not feeling the need of another man's doing or not doing anything; and besides, accepting all that happens, and all that is allotted, as coming from thence, wherever it is, from whence he himself came; and finally, waiting for death with a cheerful mind, as being nothing else than a dissolution of the elements of which every being is compounded.

But is there is no harm to the elements themselves in each continually changing into each other, why should a man have any apprehension about the change and dissolution of all elements? For it is according to nature, and nothing is evil, which is according to nature.”

So Marcus, or perhaps, more respectfully, Emperor Aurelius, your book is the sort of text that one might carry upon one's person throughout all the stages of life, and refer to it in times of trouble or of happiness. Your book seems very popular in my time, even venerated. A lot of people write about it, and how important it has been in their lives, personally. I read one person comically suggest that they wanted to have your entire book tattooed on their body, another wished that you were their real father, rather than the absent, unknown man who contributed to their actual birth.

I will leave you, Marcus, with this, from the Ruba'iyat of Omar Khayyam, the Avery/Heath-Stubbs translation, section 50. Written sometime between 1048 and 1131 CE, in north-eastern Persia.

Oh what a long time we shall not be and the world will endure,
Neither name nor sign of us will exist;
Before this we were not and there was no deficiency,
After this, when we are not it will be the same as before.

Does that sound familiar, Marcus?


With gratitude and respect,

Morgan.

*

Post Script.

Book VII.
2002, Hays Translation

14 - Let it happen, if it wants, to whatever it can happen to. And what's affected can complain about it if it wants. It doesn't hurt me unless I interpret its happening as harmful. I can choose not to.

15 – No matter what anyone says or does, my task is to be good. Like gold or emerald or purple repeating to itself, “No matter what anyone says or does, my task is to be emerald, my colour undiminished.”

*

I thought my letter to you was done, but this afternoon, drinking coffee on my front porch and reading your book, I discovered the above passages.

My life has been quite stressful recently, breathing becomes difficult, my stomach gurgles painfully. It is difficult to remember that my purpose is to be good, to be undiminished by the challenges of my life. It is difficult to choose not to suffer. These are not new ideas to me, I am familiar with many similar principles in Buddhism. Perhaps I should find some sayings of Ryokan the Zen monk, and compare then with your writing. I am not Buddhist (or Roman for that matter). I currently do not practice a religion of any kind, but I am a storyteller and I don't mind where my stories come from. I try to keep an open mind, even though stress makes my muscles clench and my teeth ache and all I want to do is sleep, I say to myself, open, open, and for a time, I breathe a little easier and your words, Marcus, make sense to me.

It is very easy to take suffering personally. Compassion seems to demand it, and quite often I find myself suffering on behalf of others, I feel the anger and helplessness over major cultural events absolutely overwhelm me. This is usually a problem I create for myself in order to worry about something other than my personal problems, which nevertheless, feel insurmountable. One stress compounds upon the other and I find myself sitting on my front porch with your book in my hand, searching for a glimmer of light with which to navigate the murky illness of my soul.

Sometimes I lay down in the tall grass and look up at the sky, the composition of my whole body subject to putrefaction.

I listen to the wind and the distant sound of hunting birds.



Thank you again, Marcus,



Thursday, 14 February 2019

Book 2, Letter 16 To Rafael Antonio Roccisano






*

Dear Rafael,

I have some things I need to say to you. Things that I couldn't say while you were alive. Some of it is not very kind, and some of it, well...

My last conversation with you was about a new beer you were brewing, with peaches. I didn't want to talk about booze with you, it seemed wrong to encourage you, but self destruction was all you knew of yourself in the end. Some months before, I badgered you to give me some of your writing, some little story from your South American adventure, but you brushed me off, saying something about the death cult over there who you fucked with, a gang who carried AK47's and were involved in prostitution. You were scared they were watching for you online, keeping an eye on you to make sure you didn't talk. Also you were suffering from the effects of the brain damage you received from a beating, or a drunken fight, or many drunken fights....you explained that you couldn't really write much, your head wasn't right, it was hard for you to think, and to remember.

Why did we all love you so much Rafael? Why does it feel like such an insult that you wanted nothing more for yourself than to die? You were a beautiful, expressive, poetic man with a sensitive heart and an creative mind – but all you did was drink away that beautiful life you were gifted with, spitting on happiness and rejecting all offers of kindness, of help.

You were so often ready to help others, but no one could help you. No one could reach you in the hell of your soul...hell....what do I know? Compared to others I hardly knew you at all, yet you were my brother.

It was twenty years ago I guess, we were both high on mushrooms and wandering along the moonlit beach before dawn, each of us in our own thoughts and simultaneously linked with that beautiful sense of psychic/empathic communion that psilocybin provides. We stopped for a moment and you dug your feet into the sand and stared out to sea, out to the full moon as I recall, and I was overcome by that hand of magic and power that commands me sometimes. I walked three times in a circle around you, chanting in my mind.

You are my brother. You are my brother. You are my brother.

No matter what you do, no matter what happens in our lives, I will always love you and always support you and always speak to you with kindness and treat you with camaraderie and forgiveness.

We went back to the house where the party had collapsed into sleep, and we fell down too, upon that hard floor and slept. I remember dreaming...something.

Now, I am dreaming of you, dear brother.

You never made it easy, but then, you never made anything easy for yourself either.

I asked you once why you hated the world so much, why you thought people were so horrible and why you had no faith in change or growth or goodness. You told me an oblique tale of a satanic cult of some sort here in Australia that you became entangled with, not as a member, no, you rescued people from the clutches of evil. There were children involved I think. The things you saw and the things you had to do marked you permanently. The story was garbled, your memory was already a hazy mess, or perhaps you just didn't want to remember anything of the details. I don't know if what you said was true, I should take you at face value and simply believe that you believed it. You had been through something, whatever the truth, and the outcome was every bit as messy and ruinous as the fact of your own uncontrollable alcoholism.

I keep thinking that for all the years I knew you, you had been trying to destroy yourself. Charles Bukowski said that drinking and smoking are the only forms of honourable suicide left to modern men. I can't see your death as anything other than suicide by poisoning. You struggled with demons I can never know of. You lived a life gasping for air in a stormy sea.

And we could never reach you.

I hope that your writing has survived. I hope that the glimmers of your brilliance were marked down and kept safe. I hope that those you hurt can forgive you. I hope that your selfishness and cynicism will fade in our memories and that instead we will remember the good things you gave to us. You wanted to love the world, but there was always something in the way.

I love you Raff. My brother. You finally destroyed yourself and I hope that means that you got what you wanted. We wanted so much more from you...I don't want to be angry, I don't want to be hurt, but God damn it Raff, you threw it all away. You threw away all the love and kindness we tried to show you and now I'm sitting in bed crying over the useless death of another brilliant, beautiful man.

I don't want to be angry with you. I want to forgive you and forget the bad days. I want to believe in that brilliant brother who I made a moonlit pact with to always love, always support, always speak to with kindness...

I am going to feel a lot of things in the coming weeks, months and years. Your death will not be easy on anyone who knew you. There was something about you that burned like a magnesium flare, a glaring brilliance than could never be extinguished no matter how much you drank.

Except, now you are gone, and that beautiful spark of light is submerged in the ocean of sorrow, and you have slipped beneath the waves forever.

Goodbye Raph. I will see you on the other side.

*

The Bluebird
Charles Bukowski – from The Last Night of the Earth Poems

there's a bluebird in my heart that
wants to get out
but I'm too tough for him,
I say, stay in there, I'm not going
to let anybody see
you.

There's a bluebird in my heart that
wants to get out
but I pour whiskey on him and inhale
cigarette smoke
and the whores and the bartenders
and the grocery clerks
never know that
he's
in there.

There's a bluebird in my heart that
wants to get out
but I'm too tough for him,
I say,
stay down, do you want to mess
me up?
You want to screw up the
works?
You want to blow my book sales in
Europe?

There's a bluebird in my heart that
wants to get out
but I'm too cleaver, I only let him out
at night sometimes
when everybody's asleep.
I say, I know that you're there,
so don't be
sad.

Then I put him back,
but he's singing a little
in there, I haven't quite let him
die
and we sleep together like
that
with our
secret pact
and it's nice enough to
make a man
weep, but I don't
weep, do
you?


*








Thursday, 7 February 2019


Book 2, letter 15
Part 1 of 2

To Marcus Aurelius: on Meditation, virtue and violence

                           Alec Guiness as Marcus Aurelius


                               The Real Marcus Aurelius
*

Dear Marcus Aurelius,

I've been trying to figure out where to start. It's not like your book Meditations, is a story, or even a philosophical treatise that groups each theme into chapters. It's just bite sized wisdom, page after page of authentic meditations on the subjects of existence, honour, duty...it's about life and death and everything in between. So, unable to find a narrative thread to pick up on, I just opened your book to a random page, and lo, I found one of my favourite passages from the beginning of Book V.

...You don’t love yourself enough. Or you’d love your nature too, and what it demands of you. People who love what they do wear themselves down doing it, they even forget to wash or eat. Do you have less respect for your own nature than the engraver does for engraving, the dancer for the dance, the miser for money or the social climber for status? When they’re really possessed by what they do, they’d rather stop eating and sleeping than give up practising their arts...”

...or this from book VII

6. So many who were remembered already forgotten, and those who remembered them long gone.

...or this from Book II

1. When you wake up in the morning, tell yourself: The people I deal with today will be meddling, ungrateful, arrogant, dishonest, jealous, and surly. They are like this because they can't tell good from evil. But I have seen the beauty of good, and the ugliness of evil, and have recognised that the wrongdoer has a nature related to my own —not of the same blood or birth, but the same mind, and possessing a share of the divine. And so none of them can hurt me. No one can implicate me in ugliness. Nor can I feel angry at my relative, or hate him. We were born to work together like feet, hands, and eyes, like the two rows of teeth, upper and lower. To obstruct each other is unnatural. To feel anger at someone, to turn your back on him: these are obstructions.

So, you see, there seems very little for me to say. You have said it all. I love the conversations you have with yourself, and with the wise responses your inner voice seems to give you. I have talked to a lot of my friends about you and I've been simultaneously reading two translations of your book, one from 2002, the other from 1862. It seems amazing to me, that you, a Roman Emperor, fighting a war in western Europe, dealing with civil wars at home, the eastern part of the empire also under attack; amidst all the chaos and political intrigue, you found within yourself the inner peace to write a book that seems to me, so thoroughly Buddhist, so peaceful, yet, unashamed of the everyday violence of your own time and place in history. So, you appear to me, to share something with Yamamoto Tsunetomo, the samurai philosopher, only you're a lot less grumpy. Still, even he was capable of great peacefulness and a wisdom akin to yours. The following quote is from the second chapter of his book, The Hagakure, from the 1979 translation by William Scott Wilson.

If one were to say in a word what the condition of being a samurai is...it would be to fit oneself inwardly with intelligence, humanity and courage, The combining of these three virtues may seem unobtainable to the ordinary person, but it is easy. Intelligence is nothing more than discussing things with others. Limitless wisdom comes from this. Humanity is something done for the sake of others, simply comparing oneself with them and putting them in the fore. Courage is gritting one's teeth; it is simply doing that and pushing ahead, paying no attention to the circumstances. Anything that seems above these three is not necessary to be known.”

I'm actually very interested in what people mean by “virtue”, since a great deal seems to have been written about it, and not everyone agrees on definitions. I sometimes suspect that the words courage and valour are smokescreen terms used to cover up the terrible things that warrior cultures do to each other. These words appear to be an attempt to morally and socially justify the butchery required of men in times of war. Actually, perhaps that's my real question about virtue. Men are actually required, by law, to be brutal murderers in times of war, and a great deal of effort is made by poets, politicians and philosophers to conjure a narrative of pride and glamour to ease the minds of the men sent to do the killing. Is all this man talk of virtue and courage an illusion we cast over the violence of our world?

Or, some more difficult questions:

Is human nature contrary, dualistic?

Are we an ecosystem that doesn't resolve peacefully, but that actually requires war to rejuvenate itself? Like the Australian bush land that need fire to propagate.

Are we animals, or something else?

What is poetry for, if not to cast in a better light, the horror of reality?

But it's not just men's ideas about violence that confound me, since women are often cited as being just as passionate about the wartime virtues of men. Julius Caesar, in his Gallic War Commentaries, claims that the women of some Celtic tribes were terrifying, known to kill their own men if they retreated, then to kill their children and themselves, rather than to submit to capture and slavery. Then there is that classic Spartan quote, “With it or on it.”, uttered by Spartan mothers as they gave their sons their shields before going into battle. Come back with this shield, or on this shield. Kill, or be killed. Surrender is dishonour, and dishonour is shame, and men are motivated in a massive way, by shame, and its ugly twin brother, pride.

Women in England and Australia were famous during the First World War, for their “White Feather Brigades”, in which groups of pretty young girls would walk the streets handing out white feathers to any young men they found. The white feather symbolised that the recipient was a coward, and nothing short of a traitor to his country. The girls would insult and berate the men in public and in private, shaming them until they volunteered to join the war.

I'm not blaming or shaming women. I'm telling a story, and only a small part of the story at that, a fragment. I'm just fascinated by the justifications we as civilised people make for violence, and the different kinds of violence that we promote or decry, and how we delineate the difference between killing in times of war and peace. I think it's an aspect of society that lots of people experience in their daily lives, but which very few give due consideration. The different kinds of violence.

I do have a funny story about white feathers though. When I was about twenty one years old, I was working in a library and just finishing my university studies, when my country became involved in a fresh war in Afghanistan, and there was a great deal of chest thumping and nationalistic pride about our boys going to fight the terrorists. I wore a white feather in my long hair for weeks. One day an elderly lady, a customer at the library who looked old enough to have lived through the First World War, recognised the symbolism, and congratulated me on having the courage to wear the feather as a sign of protest against the war.

Was my peaceful stance cowardice or virtue?

Does the nature of the enemy define the difference?

I don't have a single answer.

I will meditate on this, and write more later.