Book 2, Letter 4, part 5 of 5

To Cicero, on Friends and Enemies.

July 28^th

From Romeo and Juliet, by William Shakespeare

Tybalt (speaking to Romeo) : The love I bear thee can afford no better term than this: thou art a villian.

Romeo: Tybalt, the reason that I have to love thee doth much excuse the appertaining rage to such a greeting. Villain, I am none; Therefore, farewell; I see thou knowest me not.

*

I knowest thee not Cicero. Your life is long and I can see only dimly through windows stained with the dust of centuries. It's time to come to the final stage of this letter, the whole reason I brought all this talk of enemies to such a pitch. I will talk at last, of friendship. Having encircled you with the flanking manoeuvres of flattery and accusation, having driven home the main force of my suspicions about war, and the conspiracies of war, I offer you a treaty of peace, the terms of which are of benefit to us both.

*

July 29^th

In the evening...

Wine is a marvel isn't it? A meal with friends, music in the evening, and conversation that stimulates and challenges, but also comforts and reassures. Old friends, among whom 'plain speaking' is the customary idiom, with whom, mutual trust and respect engender an atmosphere of relaxed intensity, where each of us feels comfortable to be as intense and passionate as is our nature, and to always speak the truth.

Cicero, the darkness of your enmity towards Antony is put in sharp relief by your words regarding friendship, and most importantly I consider, your thoughts on self love. I will paraphrase again before I speak on this, from the Evelyn Shuckburgh translation of your treatise On Friendship.

“All I can do is to urge on you to regard friendship as the greatest thing in the world; for there is nothing which so fits in with our nature, or is so exactly what we want in prosperity or adversity

“Fire and water themselves, to use a common expression, are not of more universal use than friendship.”

“But friendship by it's nature admits of no feigning, no pretence: as far as it goes it is both genuine and spontaneous.”

“Now by 'worthy of friendship' I mean those who have in themselves the qualities which attract affection. This sort of man is rare; and indeed all excellent things are rare; and nothing in this world is so hard to find as a thing entirely and completely perfect of its kind. But most people not only recognise nothing as good in life unless it is profitable, but look upon friends as so much stock, caring most for those by whom they hope to make most profit. Accordingly they never possess that most beautiful and most spontaneous friendship which must be sought solely for itself without any ulterior object. They fail also to learn from their own feelings the nature and strength of friendship. For everyone loves himself, not for any reward which such love may bring, but because he is dear to himself independently of anything else.

But unless this feeling is transferred to another, what a real friend is will never be revealed; for he is, as it were, a second self. But if we find these two instincts shewing themselves in animals – whether of the air or the sea or the land, whether wild or tame – first, a love of self, which in fact is born in everything that lives alike; and secondly an eagerness to find and attach themselves to other creatures of their own kind; and if this natural action is accompanied by desire and by something resembling human love, how much more must this be the case in man by the law of his nature? For man not only loves himself, but seeks another whose spirit he may so blend with his own as almost to make one being of two.”

It is this last section that has moved me the most, for you recognise that the love of another must necessarily spring forth from the fountain of self love, which you assert is a natural instinct of both man and beast.

In my era, many of us suffer from the plagues of depression and self abasing negativity, and it seems that this love, which for you is a self evident nature to be found in all living things, is now often obscured in us, beneath a blanket of heavy doubt. That real friendships are rare no one can dispute, and rarer still in this era where self love is lacking in so many, where the qualities which might attract affection from others are in doubt and conflict with the harmful belief in our own faithless disharmony. But friendship is now, as it ever was in your time, of more universal use than fire and water, for without friendship what warmth may be enjoyed from that fire? Without friendship, what thirst may be truly quenched by water alone? But these three things in unison, friendship, fire and water, or as Omar Khayyam might have put it, “...a loaf of bread, a jug of wine and thou...” are the founding bed of love and mutual kindness that supply and support all our mortal strivings.

What hope do we have to succeed against the enemies of peace, if it is not through the friendships we may form today? By what other means may we defeat the fear in ourselves if not through the loving kindness of sincere and genuine companionship, fortified by that trustworthiness born of frank and plain speech. We owe it to ourselves to honour that self love which you Cicero, place so much value in, by the application of our hearts and minds to the building of new friendships, and the continued valuing of the old. By what other efforts can we, the common people, prevent the mistrust and anxiety that leads to war, other than by the promotion of the values and qualities of friendship. Friendship between individuals, between communities, between states and even nations. It is by these bonds that we have always valued, but seldom acknowledged, that the means of peace may be achieved, and that the ends may be enjoyed.

“But most people unreasonably, not to speak of modesty, want such a friend as they are unable to be themselves, and expect from their friends what they themselves do not give. The fair course is to be good yourself, and then to look out for another of like character.”

So the burden of effort is upon us all, my dear Cicero, to first be worthy of friendship, and then to seek to share that virtue with those among whom we might find mutual respect, admiration and love. “For if respect is gone, friendship has lost its brightest jewel.”

And respect may be shown even to our enemies.

Thank you Cicero, for everything.

Morgan.